by KJC

WARNING: Spoilers from "Divide and Conquer"

This is as though hell must be, Martouf thought.  His symbiote, Lantash, was not beyond agreeing.

Every emotion had been stripped away from him; every free thought was a battle.  His body no longer responded to his demands.

At first, he had not been aware of it as he had stepped into the gate room, but soon, the numbing of his mind was complete, and though he fought with everything within him, he could not fight hard enough.  The za’tarc’s clutches were too strong for both he and his symbiote combined.

Kill, kill, kill!  There was only one command within his mind.  He had to do it before anyone realized that it was he who had dealt the death blow to the President and the Supreme High Councilor of the Tok’ra.

Somehow, he managed to fight back.  It was only the smallest hint of his battle, but he managed to slow his movements when he reached for the weapon.  He slowed down enough to look Samantha Carter in the eye as he aimed the gun at the Tok’ra around him.  He thought he slowed down enough for her to know, in that mind numbing moment, that he wanted it to end.

With great effort, he managed to say her name.  “Samantha . . .”

And she, the greatest of all women, with tears in her eyes, had ended it for him.  She stopped him before he could do the damage that the za’tarc demanded.

The bullets tore through his body.  How many hit him, he could not tell, he just knew that the torture was over.  He could feel the blood pumping slowly through his body, pumping slower, and slower yet.  The za’tarc’s control left him.  There was no pain, and he was grateful that he was allowed those last moments in his own mind.

Samantha rushed to him, cradling his head in her arms, sobbing and pouring out her grief.

He could not manage to say anymore.  He could not thank her for what she had done.  She would not know that she had dealt him a mercy.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried.  “I’m so sorry, Martouf.  I’m so sorry . . .”